She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
