That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
