And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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