would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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