He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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