Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
