wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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