Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
