Me too!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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