R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize