Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
