when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
