Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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