ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
