please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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