i just wanna soil my oats bro
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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