Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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