it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
