im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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