do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize