Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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