So drunk its hurt
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
