wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
