Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
