Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
