I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
