So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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