I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
