Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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