Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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