If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
