i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
