I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
