i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
