i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
