just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
