I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
