Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
whose parrot is this?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
