There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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