the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
