explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
