Who did Billy Mays play for?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Damn victory sex feels great
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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