have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
