You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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