gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
