I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
