I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You can't special order awesome
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
