We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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