"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
