I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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