"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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