Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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